Posts Tagged ‘Feelings’

Honesty and dishonesty are qualities that a child learns at home. Often parents are perturbed when their child lies.

It is common for young children to tell tall tales and make up stories. This is a normal tendency as kids enjoy telling and hearing stories that are fun. Children often tend to confuse the difference between fantasy and reality. This is perhaps more as a result of an extremely active imagination than of an attempt to hide the truth. As children get older, they may tell lies to suite their needs, like shirking responsibility and avoiding work. Parents should treat each instance of lying as an isolated one and respond by teaching the child about the necessity of trust and honesty.

Sometimes adolescents feel that it is alright to lie in certain situations like not telling ones girlfriend or boyfriend the real reason for a breakup as they are afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. Adolescents might also lie to retain a sense of privacy and feel psychologically independent of their parents. The main role models in a child’s life are his or her parents. When parents catch their child lying, they should approach the matter gently but firmly, emphasizing the difference between a lie and the truth and the necessity for honesty. They should try to communicate to their child and find out the reason for dishonesty and help the child find an alternative. It is best to lead by example and a parent should never lie, and if they do, emphasize the inappropriateness of it. Consequences of lying must be discussed clearly and in a comprehensive manner with the child early in his or her life.

There are, however, some forms of dishonesty that should cause concern and might be a symptom of some underlying emotional problem. Sometimes children know the difference between a lie and the truth but choose to make up elaborate stories to gain attention.

Other adolescents or children, who seem to be sensible, can also fall prey to repetitive lying. It is common for them to feel that a lie is the most convenient method of dealing with the expectations of teachers, parents and friends. Here the child is not trying to be malicious or bad but just falls into a habit of repetitive lying. If the repetitive lying goes beyond a point, it is best to take it seriously and consult a professional child or adolescent psychologist who can provide help in time.

Abhishek Agarwal
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/teaching-your-child-honesty-how-to-deal-with-a-lying-child-740356.html

Technorati Tags: Active Imagination, Adolescents, Attempt, Consequences, Dishonesty, Emotional Problem, Fantasy, Feelings, Girlfriend, Honesty, Lie And The Truth, Parents, Prey, Privacy, Real Reason, Role Models, Tall Tales, Tendency

Honesty and dishonesty are qualities that a child learns at home. Often parents are perturbed when their child lies.

It is common for young children to tell tall tales and make up stories. This is a normal tendency as kids enjoy telling and hearing stories that are fun. Children often tend to confuse the difference between fantasy and reality. This is perhaps more as a result of an extremely active imagination than of an attempt to hide the truth. As children get older, they may tell lies to suite their needs, like shirking responsibility and avoiding work. Parents should treat each instance of lying as an isolated one and respond by teaching the child about the necessity of trust and honesty.

Sometimes adolescents feel that it is alright to lie in certain situations like not telling ones girlfriend or boyfriend the real reason for a breakup as they are afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. Adolescents might also lie to retain a sense of privacy and feel psychologically independent of their parents. The main role models in a child’s life are his or her parents. When parents catch their child lying, they should approach the matter gently but firmly, emphasizing the difference between a lie and the truth and the necessity for honesty. They should try to communicate to their child and find out the reason for dishonesty and help the child find an alternative. It is best to lead by example and a parent should never lie, and if they do, emphasize the inappropriateness of it. Consequences of lying must be discussed clearly and in a comprehensive manner with the child early in his or her life.

There are, however, some forms of dishonesty that should cause concern and might be a symptom of some underlying emotional problem. Sometimes children know the difference between a lie and the truth but choose to make up elaborate stories to gain attention.

Other adolescents or children, who seem to be sensible, can also fall prey to repetitive lying. It is common for them to feel that a lie is the most convenient method of dealing with the expectations of teachers, parents and friends. Here the child is not trying to be malicious or bad but just falls into a habit of repetitive lying. If the repetitive lying goes beyond a point, it is best to take it seriously and consult a professional child or adolescent psychologist who can provide help in time.

Abhishek Agarwal
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/teaching-your-child-honesty-how-to-deal-with-a-lying-child-740356.html

Technorati Tags: Active Imagination, Adolescents, Attempt, Consequences, Dishonesty, Emotional Problem, Fantasy, Feelings, Girlfriend, Honesty, Lie And The Truth, Parents, Prey, Privacy, Real Reason, Role Models, Tall Tales, Tendency

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism gives some practical strategies for bringing up the subject of alcohol use with your child:

# Encourage conversation. Encourage your child to talk about whatever interests him or her. Listen without interruption and give your child a chance to teach you something new. Your active listening to your child’s enthusiasms paves the way for conversations about topics that concern you.

# Ask open-ended questions. Encourage your teen to tell you how he or she thinks and feels about the issue you’re discussing. Avoid questions that have a simple “yes” or “no” answer.

# Control your emotions. If you hear something you don’t like, try not to respond with anger. Instead, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings in a constructive way.

# Make every conversation a “win-win” experience. Don’t lecture or try to “score points” on your teen by showing how he or she is wrong. If you show respect for your child’s viewpoint, he or she will be more likely to listen to and respect yours.

# Draw the line. Set clear, realistic expectations for your child’s behavior. Establish appropriate consequences for breaking rules and consistently enforce them.

# Offer acceptance. Make sure your teen knows that you appreciate his or her efforts as well as accomplishments. Avoid hurtful teasing or criticism.

# Understand that your child is growing up. This doesn’t mean a hands-off attitude. But as you guide your child’s behavior, also make an effort to respect his or her growing need for independence and privacy.

Drug abuse used to be considered a moral failing, with addicts written off as willful and incorrigible. Today, teen drug abuse is more likely to be seen as a physiological disorder, a disease that can be treated and eventually conquered. Approaches to treatment for drug abuse vary, but people in treatment all learn how to change their behavior and reduce their cravings. Relapses are common, but people who stick with drug addiction treatment and can reclaim healthy, productive lives.

Drug addiction certainly can be treated. While drug abuse used to be viewed as being, at best, a weak, flawed person’s response to life’s pressures and temptations, today most professionals who work with teen drug addiction consider it a medical condition, on the same plane as diabetes or heart disease. And just as someone with diabetes or heart disease has to institute lifestyle changes and take medications, teens in treatment for drug addiction learn behavioral changes and often take medications as part of their treatment regimen. This change in attitude has helped boost hope for many teens and their families.

In fact, one of the reasons drug abuse is so prevalent is that many folks who need treatment for drug abuse don’t get it. The U.S. Department of Labor posted a report recently of one study showing that 47 percent of men and 41 percent of women in need of treatment for abuse of illicit drugs are not treated. Much of this gap between need and actual treatment comes from inadequate funding for drug abuse treatment and inadequate education about drugs and drug treatment.

There are many ways in which drug and alcohol addiction can be treated, and that treatment can lead to permanent recovery if the person fighting the addiction makes a real commitment to a treatment program and sticks with it. According to several studies, drug treatment reduces drug use by 40 to 60 percent, but, typically, only for people who stay in treatment for three months or longer. Treatment for drug and alcohol abuse is a long process that involves not only recovery from the physical effects of substance abuse but therapy that allows drug abusers to understand the psychological and social roots of their addictions and learn new ways of coping. As much as they need to stop using, they also need to recognize the emotional triggers that can cause them to start using again. That’s why it’s important to choose the treatment program that best serves the individual needs of the recovering addict.

Mark Peterson
http://www.articlesbase.com/teenagers-articles/how-can-i-talk-to-my-child-about-alcohol-700878.html

Technorati Tags: Alcohol Abuse, Alcohol Abuse And Alcoholism, Alcoholism, Anger, Attitude, Breaking Rules, Consequences, Conversations, Cravings, Deep Breaths, Emotions, Feelings, Interruption, National Institute On Alcohol Abuse And Alcoholism, Physiological Disorder, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Score, Teen Drug Abuse, Viewpoint

Let’s start at the beginning with discussing what is Autism?

Autism is a disorder of the brain and one in every two and a half thousand children are born with it. Children who are Autistic will show signs of being withdrawn from their environment and will have problems communicating. Often it is confused with Asperger’s Syndrome and, although similar in many ways, they are two different diagnoses.

Signs of Autism can be displayed in a child as young as twelve months and it is usually prominent by the age of three. Autism is also called spectrum disorder or autistic spectrum disorder, and statistics show more males than females have been diagnosed with the neurological abnormality. Often, a child can seem very normal until up to three years of age, then suddenly they begin to change as their speech and social development is impaired. They will exhibit strange behavior and movements, have trouble communicating, some even become deaf and mute and will not like being held. Some will move compulsively and prefer to occupy themselves rather than play with toys or people. Every case is individual, so each child has a different combination of symptoms.

With communication being so difficult for those with spectrum disorder, it is common for their IQ to be below average. About a quarter of these cases excel in certain areas like math, art or music and their IQs are well above average. It is much harder to diagnose Autism in adults from any physical symptoms, but they have problems with understanding other’s feelings, forming friendships, recognizing fear and behaving appropriately in social situations. Often, they will be self-destructive in their habits and are unable to understand the consequences of their actions.

Asperger’s Syndrome is a mild form of Autism, with most of the symptoms being the same. Where Autism is clearly diagnosed by about age three, Asperger’s onset is usually much later. Children with Asperger’s will prefer isolation, exhibit eccentricities, will have strange inflections in their way of speaking, can be uncoordinated and clumsy and single minded in their interests.

High functioning autism is where a person has been diagnosed with the disorder but is still able to continue with a relatively unaffected life. Asperger’s disorder is considered milder than this type of Autism, so they can usually maintain a fairly uninterrupted existence. Someone with Asperger’s may not be viewed any differently in society, but with Autism, they will be noticeably unique in their movements and speech and can have more trouble learning. This means they can experience more difficulty fitting in and possibly even discrimination.

There is no cure for Autism or Asperger’s and no way to return their normal functions and abilities. However, much progress is always being made in ways to manage the disorders. Speech therapy, special diets, music therapy, sensory integration, art therapy, behavior modification and auditory training are all ways to assist in handling Autism so they can lead a life as close to normal as is possible. Since it is specific to the individual, treatments are tailored to each case. Some may need drug therapy for hyperactivity disorders or anger control.

Having a child with Autism can be very stressful and taxing on the family, so strategies for coping will be needed for all who are involved. Autistic children need extra attention and endless supplies of love and understanding. They never truly mature like most of us, but they will have a better chance of being independent if they receive the required training and support therapies.

Jon Arnold
http://www.articlesbase.com/diseases-and-conditions-articles/how-to-identify-autism-in-your-child-69922.html

Technorati Tags: Abnormality, Autism In Adults, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, brain, Consequences, Fear, Feelings, Females, Friendships, Iq Average, Iqs, Isolation, Math Art, Mild Form Of Autism, Play With Toys, Signs Of Autism, Social Situations, Statistics, Strange Behavior, Twelve Months

To begin this process, remember how you looked at the age of three or four years and try to get a clear mental image of yourself at that age. A photograph may be helpful, if you have one.

Your inner child lives in your heart, the emotional center of your body. It is helpful however, to picture your child self outside your body in order to communicate more effectively with him/her. There are several phases to the inner child relationship. The first is the healing of your wounded child of the past. The second stage, which lasts the rest of your life, is nurturing your inner child of the present. This article will address both of these skill levels.

This child is not all that you are. You are an adult who has survived a lifetime of risks and hardships, growing and learning along the way. You have a brilliant mind, which you have used only partially because of the limitations of your parenting and the world you live in. There is much more to you than you know. If you are fortunate enough to have already recognized your greatness, you probably know that you are still not through. The closer you come to knowing who you really are, the more you realize how much you have to learn.

DIALOGUES WITH THE INNER CHILD

As an adult and inner parent, try making the following statements to your inner child and see what happens:

“I’ve been the kind of parent to you that my parents were to me. I didn’t know any better. Like them, I have abandoned and neglected you at times without meaning to. I’ve treated you as if you weren’t even there because I really didn’t know you were there. I thought that when I grew up, you just went away.

“I realize now that I may have hurt you at times. You are all of my feelings, and I have always thought some of those feelings were bad. So I tried to control you with substances (food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, medication, work, sex, love relationships), thinking I could make the feelings that I didn’t like go away. It didn’t work. The feelings just got worse. I am ready to change now and take care of you. I accept you as you are, no matter what you are feeling. Your feelings are my feelings, because you are who I am inside.”

Now become the inner child. Sit on the floor, curl up on the couch or assume any childlike posture that seems to fit what you are feeling. As the inner child, you are only feelings. You don’t think or analyze, you just feel. Try responding to your inner parent with:

“I’m glad you are finally recognizing me. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I like what you are saying. It makes me feel better. I’m not completely ready to trust you yet. I need to see some action. I need to be able to count on you throughout each day. I am completely dependent on you. If you don’t love and care for me, no one will. You are all I have.

“When I am hurting or afraid, just hold me and tell me you love me. That’s all I ask. Don’t try to talk me out of my feelings, that’s just who I am. Just love me and tell me that you’ll protect me no matter what and that will help me feel better. I need to be told that you love me often, not just when things go wrong. When I am happy, I need you to smile and laugh and do fun things. I come out through your smile and laughter and playfulness. I also come out when you are loving and creative. I have a lot to offer you, if you will create a safe and healthy life for me. There is more joy and love in me than you have ever known, waiting to come out. Love and joy is who I am, and I am who you are. I’m counting on you. Please remember me.”

You might respond with something like: “You can count on me. I won’t forget you. I will make mistakes, but I will learn to avoid repeating them. I accept you just as you are, no matter what you are feeling. Your feelings are my feelings. I love you unconditionally. You are who I am inside. In loving you, I love myself.”

If you have difficulty with this exercise, write about your experience. This may help you figure out what you need to work on to get closer to the experience of self-love.

Your inner child may be too wounded or frightened for you to make a connection at this time. The concept may still seem foreign to you. If you like the words in this dialogue and you want to feel their depth and meaning, don’t give up. You may want to get some counseling to help you connect with your inner child in a meaningful way.

SKILLS FOR CONNECTING WITH THE INNER CHILD

Once the basic healing work is done with the inner child of the past, you need to learn to take care of yourself day to day by maintaining a connection with your inner child of the present.

Here are some suggestions for self-care and maintaining a connection with your inner child of the present:

Create space and time in your daily schedule to talk to and listen to your inner child. The key to this is imagery. Picture the child sitting beside you, in your lap, or jumping around the room. Just “checking in” with your child self will give you a reading on how you’re doing emotionally. You may find her hiding in a corner, or he might be scared and trembling. You may find as you offer support and understanding to the child, the image will change, giving you feedback on how you’re doing in your self-care. Explore and enjoy your self-discovery!

Take quiet alone time on a regular basis. Ideally 20 minutes to an hour a day, find a private comfortable place where you can relax, meditate and/or pray without interruption. You can incorporate journaling and inspirational reading into this time as well. Always allow at least 15-20 minutes of being still and silent. This opens your inner space to the child, and accesses your spiritual nature. It will also do wonders for the health of your body, mind and spirit. Make this quiet alone time a top priority, and you will bring more of your authentic self to your spouse, your children, your friends and your work.

When your body is showing signs of stress, that’s your inner child saying, “Slow down. You’re not Superman or Superwoman, and you’re neglecting me.” That’s when you practice your skills for relaxing, playing, creating and simply “goofing off.” If you ignore that voice, it will just get louder until you pay attention. An unhappy inner child may try to communicate through a headache, stomach problems, depression or even major illness. When we listen to the subtle messages, we don’t need the “loud” messages of illness and catastrophe.

Systematically and consistently create opportunities to express your feelings openly in a safe environment. Find a support group or a group of friends, and get together regularly for the purpose of keeping the door to your heart open. Twelve step recovery groups, therapy groups, men or women’s groups, book study groups and other forums often provide this venue.

Create opportunities for laughter and fun. If you don’t know how to play, then learn. Do a web search on “laughter and humor” and you will find lots of information on the health benefits of laughter and humor and how to get more into your life. There are conferences and workshops on play and laughter going on all over the country year around.

Be creative. This accesses the magical child in you, and further allows you to become a vessel for the expression of the Creator that lives within you. Take dance lessons, art lessons, or learn to play a musical instrument. Get on the floor or in the dirt with a child and let them show you the creative world they live in. Join them there and feel yourself come alive.

Temporarily or permanently end all relationships in which you are being hurt. Seek help, and only consider re-entering the relationship after both of you have had therapy and you have personally seen significant progress. Even then, proceed cautiously—you have a precious child to protect.

Only risk and commit to relationships in which you are loved. You deserve love, and without it you will not live fully and become the person you were born to be.

Embrace all that you are. Do not reject any aspect of your being. If you have problems, get help. You can have the life you want—and it’s up to you to create it. Finding the good in yourself and the world around you is one of the best ways to connect with and care for your inner child, and become your most amazing self. Become a Goodfinder today!

William DeFoore, Ph.D.
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/nurturing-and-caring-for-your-inner-child-how-to-heal-emotionally-and-master-the-art-of-selflove-223270.html

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