Posts Tagged ‘Grandparents’

How does the court act in the child’s best interest in a custody action? Following will be some guidelines that are used. The courts may use commonly used or established guidelines. There will be a child custody evaluation. The courts believe in frequent and meaningful access to both parents.

An agreement made by both parents is preferable to a court solution. Parents can go through mediation and or through an attorney. The court can solve the custody matter. If disputes can’t be solved a trial will be held and the judge will make the decision. The family law courts are based on equity, and fairness to both parents.

A child custody evaluation involves an assessment of the child’s needs and each parent’s ability to meet these needs. The strengths and weaknesses will be evaluated. There will be interviews of parents, child, parent and child interactions, and interviews with other people outside of the family will be conducted. The past, present, and future needs will be considered.

The court may at any time order upon consideration all relevant factors that have bearing on the child’s needs. These could include age, station in life, standard of living, financial status and ability of each parent to make child support payments. Payment of child support can vary plus or minus 5% of the guidelines.

The court will determine the primary caregiver that is: who bonded with the child in the early years, and who provides love and emotional support. Where age appropriate, the child may have a preference. Grandparents may be awarded visitation rights with a minor child and do have a legal standing to seek same. However, it may not be ordered that a child be kept in the state or jurisdiction of the court solely for permitting visitation by the grandparents. If the child is residing with the grandparents whether they have custody or not the court may recognize that they have the same standing as parents for evaluation custody arrangements in the best interests of the child.

After the entry of the child support the court will have continuing jurisdiction regarding the child support payments. Terms and conditions, and the amount can change if found necessary in the best interests of the child. In ordering shared parental responsibility, the parents expressed desires may be considered. The court may grant to one party the responsibility over specific aspects of the child based on the child’s best interests. These can include residence, education, medical, dental and other areas deemed unique to a specific family. A provision for health care insurance if reasonably obtained can be required or reimbursed. The court may order sole parental rights with or without visitation rights when it is in the best interest of the child.

In conclusion the court’s role is determined by the child’s best interests. The child custody evaluation assesses the child’s needs and the ability of each parent to meet these needs. The family law courts are based on equity, and fairness to both parents.

IC
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/how-the-court-decides-in-the-childs-best-interests-264047.html

Technorati Tags: Best Interest, Caregiver, Child Custody Evaluation, Child Support Payments, Court Act, Custody Action, Custody Arrangements, Emotional Support, Fairness, Family Law Courts, Grandparents, Interviews, Jurisdiction, Mediation, Parents, People, Preference, Relevant Factors, Strengths And Weaknesses, Visitation Rights

How do I bring up this child? Is a frequently asked question by many parents who come face to face with a child with disability. The problem starts when the doctor announces that the child has a disability. The first reaction of the parent is denial,” my child is not disabled, the doctor made a mistake”. The grandparents add to this saying some uncle or aunty was like this but then they became normal. So there is no need for anxiety. Everything will become normal. But when there is no improvement the next step is to shop around for a cure from pillar to post. Parents refuse to listen to the doctors’ suggestions. Parents expect some miracle and after shopping around ends up either with over protection or with rejection.

All these have an impact on the development of the child. In the case of a child with mental disability parents have sympathy for the child Most parents feel that the child does not understand anything and try to give a lot of allowance for the child. A lot of concession is given for the misbehaviour of the child. The child with mental disability has some comprehension though not up to his / her age level Most parents allow the child to behave as she /he likes and finally are scared to take the child to public gathering because thay think the child will misbehave when people are around.

We usually forget to remember that the child is observing us as we observe the child. He/She knows our weakness and strong points and what will affect us more. Some children say “I know how to get things done, when friends come to visit us we get what ever we demand.” “Our screaming in a public place makes my mother nervous and she will do anything for me” So even if we are anxious make it a point not to express it out wardly.

Another big mistake we all do is to ignore the children when they are quite and mind their work. We have a tendency to finish the work as fast as we can when there is no disturbance. We pay attention to the child the minute the child throws something to the floor, or screams. This reinforces the child to misbehave. As parents if we are ready to appreciate the child when he is behaving well, then the child will also appreciate us and behave well.

Parents need to remember that discipline is same for every one; I mean same for all the children there need not be two yard sticks.  If we start treating the disabled child like any other child. at home as well as in front of others, problems are less. We have come across children who behave well at home misbehave in a public place, scream and even roll on the ground and throw mud on every one, just to get attention. These children are very sure their parents are at their mercy. There is a six year old child who insists on taking a shaving cream when ever he visits a super market. No one is his home uses the shaving cream. If you don’t allow him to take the cream he will roll on the ground and scream. When he visits the same super market with his school mates and teachers, he usually drags the teacher to the cupboard where they have the shaving cream, the teacher explains to him that he doesn’t need that instead he can take a biscuits or chocolate which has a dazzling cover he agrees. No crying or temper tantrums. All what he wanted was not the shaving cream but the bright cover of the shaving cream.. In many cases we see that if you understand the child instead of saying NO to the child you can manage the child.

Parents usually feel that a disabled child is a punishment from god for what they have done in the previous birth. They don’t want to show the child to the out side world. We have a mother who takes the child for a walk around 9PM when every body is inside the house. She says this is to avoid disgrace; She wanted to avoid the questions asked by her friends and neighbours. The more and more she avoids people, people have the interest to find out what is wrong with the child. Instead if you can introduce the child to others and introduce some friends of his own age group, people will have empathy for the child and help you also. In some cases this kind of socialisation will help in the child’s social development.

We come across many parents who are very spontaneous in using the word (Don’t do it)

“Don’t go out in the sun” “don’t play in the rain” “don’t eat ice cream” “don’t play with that child” How many of us have the time and the patience to tell the child why the child cannot do that and instead what the child can do. When we give instruction to the child “Don’t play in the rain” do we ever convey the reason?. And teach the child to make paper boat so that when the rain stops he can play in the rain water. The child will definitely respond to your request, not to play in the rain. Make it a point to give positive commands instead of negatives. Many parents have the tendency to talk about the child to others like friends and relatives in the child’s presence. The positive as well as the negative behaviours are reinforced. If we talk about any behaviour that is worrying us the child takes the clue from us and misbehaves all the more in front of the visitors. So it is always better to avoid the mistake of any discussion in front of the child.

Parents need to keep in mind that we need to treat the child with disability as any other child in the family. Children learn what they live as described by an unknown author

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,

He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

He learns to praise.

If a child lives with fairness,

He learns justice,

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

He learns to find love in the world.

As we set rules for the children if permitted children may also like to set rules for us and question us. We usually do not allow that. Let us give them permission and keep our self in the shoe of the child and listen to what they want to say. For some parents it will be really shocking.

1. If we have done something wrong, you have every right to tell us what was wrong with us or where we went wrong. Please make it short, and without shouting at us in front of others try to make us understand what was wrong. Please don’t go about it for hours.
2. Please do remember the good things about us as well as the bad. If we are quiet and did something you can appreciate, give us positive strokes immediately.
3. If you want us to do something or don’t want us to do, explain to us why we cannot do that and instead you can tell us what we can do. And please don’t expect us to obey you as you are our parents We are fed up of the command” obey as I say so”
4. Please tell us specifically when you are pleased with us,” You behaved well when friends visited us or you didn’t make noise when I was talking to my friend” This will help us to understand how we have to behave and go on behaving like that.
5. If you make mistakes don’t feel bad to admit it. If you do something wrong, please apologize, we should do the same.
6. Could you listen to us more often? If you listen to us you can understand us better and why we behave in a certain way, and some times why we misbehave. Then we will be more willing to listen to you.
7. When we go out in the evening we should be back by a certain time. Our programmes need to be planned according to our convenience and likes and dislikes and not according to your convenience. This will help you to avoid the conflicts between us.
8. When our friends visit us, please welcome them, but do not ask them lot of questions about their home, parent’s family and what they do in their spare time. We need some privacy
9. We want to be trusted, so please don’t worry about us so much, and don’t always expect the worst.
10. You often tell us that you didn’t do that when you were young. We should be genuinely interested to know just what you did when you were young.

If you keep in mind another six rules as to how you can spoil your child you can be little careful and you can live without tension.

1. From infancy give the child everything he demands. In this way if he grows up he will think that the world needs to give in to all his demands.

2. When he picks up bad words laugh about it. This will give him an idea that he is cute. It will encourage him to pick up more words that will make you hang your head when he uses these words in a public place.

3. Please do avoid using the word “Wrong” It may develop a guilt complex in the child.

4. One of the parent make it a point to pick up every thing he leaves like books and toys after he plays or comes back from school and do every thing for him even before he asks for any help so that as he grows up into adult hood he will shun all the responsibilities and expect you to do ever thing for him. As the child grows up you are also growing old and you may not have the strength and energy to do everything for him if he is dependent on you

5. Quarrel often in your children’s presence. So that they will feel insecure and in some cases try to run off from the family.

6. Never try to correct him when he quarrels with friends and neighbours, blindly support him so that at later stage he will become a nuisance in the neighbourhood and the community will try to use force to manage him

No one has a right to say that he /she is a good parent or bad parent. In our anxiety to give our best to the child, we make lot of mistakes, if we can correct some of these mistakes which every one does at some stage of their life we can help our children with disability to be useful citizens and not be a burden to others even after we are not there to support them.

Jeyashree Iyenar
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parenting-a-child-with-disability-700327.html

Technorati Tags: Anxiety, Big Mistake, Child With Disability, Comprehension, Concession, Denial, Doctors, Face To Face, Grandparents, Mental Disability, Miracle, Misbehaviour, Parenting, Parents, Pillar, Rejection, Strong Points, Sympathy, Tendency, Thay

By Jane Claire Lambert

Did you know that in the days of your great-grandparents the inclusion of nature instruction in school was a serious concern? Many of you have read a bit of Charlotte Mason’s books or A Girl of the Limberlost or Freckles. Some of you even own Anna Comstock’s Handbook of Nature Study, though for many of us it is collecting dust daily. Did you know that in days gone by, students routinely went on nature walks at all times of the year? They learned about the animals, trees, insects, stars, rocks, and weather, and they learned about them in great detail through daily observation, daily lessons, and daily application.

What has happened in the years since? Has nature grown less amazing? Is it less magnificent and less important these days to notice colors, sounds, smells, designs, and all the beauty that is free just for the taking? Is it less important to one’s well-being to have times of quiet solitude in beautiful surroundings? Is it less interesting now to be swept away with the beauty of the night sky or go owl watching together? What has happened?

In the classroom it could be that the topic itself is slowly escaping from many school curricula. In our present culture, the Creator has been removed from the traditional classroom. With His departure, much of the wonder and amazement with which teachers eagerly tied Him to what has been made left as well.

Take, for example, the simple adventure of walking outdoors and collecting a few specimens of tree leaves. Careful observation could disclose that there are those with beautiful red stems and others with the palest of greenish-brown ones. For many young students, finding that each of these different, beautiful leaves belong to a particular kind of tree might be an awesome discovery. Yet, in many traditional classrooms, the entire process has been reduced to "memorize twenty leaf formations and the test is Friday." The students are left wondering, “Why? Why should we study this?” Because appreciation of the beauty and carefulness with which the Creator has made each and every natural thing is left out of the teaching, there no longer seems to be a good reason to learn about such things. Wonder and amazement have just evaporated from most nature lessons.

And all this while everything out there—from the stars in the sky to the minute worlds inside a single drop of pond water to the cells in a blade of grass—shouts the praises of the One who spoke it all into being. Yes, perhaps we should break away a while from our televisions, video games, soccer games, and central heating and air-conditioning to once again acquaint ourselves with the great outdoors! We have become more and more an indoor-dwelling people, and we’ve not noticed that so much of what speaks of the greatness of our God has therefore been closed out of our lives and out of the lives of our children. The very topics that used to be taught enthusiastically to both the tiniest child and the student of higher education are no longer on the agenda or are taught only from textbooks, rarely through personal adventures.

Even in our homeschooling we are hesitant these days to get outside and find safe places to examine what has been made. We just don’t take the time, because we’ve forgotten how vitally important this activity really is! Many of us don’t live on acreage with ponds and meadows to scout out, and it is more difficult for some to find safe parks and places to explore. Yet, if we truly believed that taking time to get out into nature was critically important, wouldn’t we have a new desire to pray for and seek out special spots to view the natural wonders that are close at hand? Even in the heart of city life, one can find so many great examples of natural phenomenon, and nature is always as close as our own backyard. We even know one family who strolled through cemeteries, enjoying lovely trees of all kinds, ponds, flowers, birds, insects, and more with their children.

If you believe in the need, you will find a way, so here are seven extra special reasons to get up and get out!

Seven Special Reasons to Get Up and Get Out!

1. Nature walks will teach your child to watch everything around him. These outings will greatly increase his observational skills and his outdoor life skills. Take your children walking often, and watch your science lessons become more relevant year after year as your students are able to apply experientially, through this time outside, the concepts you have presented. You see, it is one thing to teach the life cycle of a frog and quite another to find egg masses and tadpoles in a nearby pond! Children are filled with wonder as they use a net to collect specimens or turn over rocks on a lakeshore and find crawdads escaping every which way! This is life! This is the making of memories! This is real learning, not book learning!

2. Take your children out often, and they will find that one thing in nature always leads to another. If they are interested in a frog they see one day, the next day they will wonder and want to find out about the crickets and worms that the frogs eat. Then they may get interested in the condition of the pond water, and so it goes. This is experience-directed learning that is so exciting to your children. By walking outdoors with them on a regular basis, you will set off a chain reaction of learning experiences for your children that will continue for a lifetime, as they find that each discovery is connected to many other parts of nature.

3. Camaraderie—that special intimacy that comes from adventuring and making discoveries together—is another benefit of a good nature walk. Whether a mother or father walks with all their children or they take their journeys with just one child at a time or they use different combinations over the months, the time spent will reap intimacy as well as nature knowledge. Yes, you all will see and learn together, and that is wonderful. The times of quiet togetherness and the times of deep conversations along the way are special features of nature outings. It is as if the Lord has provided a miraculous setting for you to “be” with your children. Planned nature walks will provide years of the type of environment that enhances rich family ties.

4. At certain times when viewing nature, some quietness, solitude, and patience are necessary. Of course a small child doesn’t understand this at first, and the lessons that a parent uses to teach a little one to walk more quietly, sit for a bit, and watch what is around him must be gentle and full of patience. If you model (especially fun when acted out over-dramatically) walking softly and being as quiet as possible for part of your walks, your child will begin to see that it is often in times of quietness that the greatest marvels are seen. Then you will have done your job well. The desire to be quiet in order to see something special will be catching, and in time your child will begin to value quietness and solitude. Nature walks, begun simply and continued over the years—time spent watching and thinking—will develop a “deepness of heart” in a student who learns to quiet himself in these journeys together. Couldn’t our world use a few more inhabitants with “deepness of heart”?

5. As your child grows in his awareness of the magnificence of creation, he will grow to love it. What he grows to love, he will want to take care of. Nature walks, begun early and continued throughout your teaching days, will lead your child to an awareness of the necessity of stewardship of our natural resources. We are all called to be the “gentle tenders” of our world. But if we don’t even know anything about it, it is difficult to want to preserve it and use our resources wisely.

6. Taking time to walk outdoors will create a lifetime appreciation for what the Lord has made, and that deep love of nature will become a rich field for worship. The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, and those who spend time in the out of doors discovering the wonders and learning that it comes from Him will have a vast and limitless resource for worshiping the One who created it all! Modeling a grateful heart for the beauty of nature all around us will flow out onto our children. Every leaf, each bug, every cell under a microscope is a marvel worthy of all our praise. If we display a heart of praise and worship for such a magnificent Creator, then wonder and worship will come to our children as well.

7. Something else will grow from enjoyable nature walks and seeing the magnificence of nature on a regular basis. A new understanding in the heart of your student will develop: nothing in nature is “common.” In the book Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin, we read that the people in Bentley’s day thought snowflakes were “as common as dirt.” But Mr. Bentley knew, because he had seen them under a microscope, that each snowflake was utterly and beautifully unique. All of nature is like that! Each stone has its own loveliness; each drop of water has an entire world of creatures swimming in it; each bit of moss or lichen—extraordinary! Everything that the Lord has made is amazing—nothing is common! How wonderful to begin at a young age to teach our children about the amazing natural world around them and the One who made it all.

So, if we took a quick quiz, what are the seven important reasons to get up and get out?

1. Gaining observational and life skills, as well as actually experiencing school lessons so that they become relevant

2. Understanding the connectedness of life

3. Experiencing camaraderie, intimacy, and the joy of making rich family ties

4. Developing a quiet heart . . . one that can actually be still now and then, and one that can find benefits from moments of solitude

5. Becoming aware of stewardship and conservation

6. Creating a rich avenue for worship

7. Learning that nothing in nature is “common.”

Perhaps nature walks truly are more important than we first imagined!

Jane Claire Lambert and her husband Steve operate Five in a Row Publishing and are busy speaking at homeschool conferences and creating new products in the Five in a Row tradition. Visit their website at www.fiveinarow.com and www.fiardigital.com for more information, including details about their new four-part nature series: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.

©2008 The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC
www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com
This article originally appeared in the Summer 2008 issue of The Old
Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC

Reprinted with permission from the publisher.

Jane Claire Lambert
http://www.articlesbase.com/homeschooling-articles/the-love-and-the-lure-of-nature-walking-752320.html

Technorati Tags: Amazement, Careful Observation, Charlotte Mason, Collecting Dust, Comstock, Freckles, Girl Of The Limberlost, Grandparents, Handbook Of Nature Study, Jane Claire Lambert, Nature Instruction, Night Sky, Quiet Solitude, Rsquo, S Books, School Curricula, Specimens, Stems, Traditional Classroom, Traditional Classrooms

When a child is being transported from, say, a foster home to another foster home, or when the child’s parents die and he’s going to live with his grandparents, do Social Services drive the child there? What if it’s a too long a distance? Would they fly the child? Main question: how does a child get transported to their new home if it’s too far to drive?

They call Chuck Norris!

Technorati Tags: Chuck Norris, Fly, Grandparents, Parents, Social Services

You’ve probably heard that by the time your child graduates high school it will take a fortune to go to college. While public colleges and universities are reasonable for many families right now, the cost is expected to rise to over $100,000 in 18 years from now. Want to send your child to that same private school you attended? Be prepared for a tuition of close to a quarter of a million dollars.

But if you start right now, you are going to be just fine. Time is the biggest factor in saving a large amount of money. It can work for you if you start today. If you wait until you child is in high school, it will not be your best friend — it will just move too fast.

I don’t know where to begin, you may be saying. So many parents aren’t saving for their children’s education because they really don’t understand what they will be facing. Many expect grandparents or other relatives to help out. But they don’t realize that 18 years is a long time and a lot can happen.

Start saving now. Every little bit counts. Remember that the early you start, the less it will cost you. Interest works for you in many ways. Even a few dollars a week can end up buying several classes later on.

Start by estimating what your child’s education will cost. At 5% inflation, the average public university may cost around $24,000 a year in 18years. If you have older children, the cost in ten years will be around $16,000 using the same calculations.

Use these numbers to get you motivated. And yes, some of the education costs may be covered by scholarships and financial aid, but you never know. It is better to save too much than not enough.

You can simply use an online calculator to determine how much you will have to save each year to reach your goal. Remember, interest is working for you here, so it isn’t as simple as dividing the goal by the time you have to save. You will find that the sooner you start, the less you put in.

Keeping this in mind, a savings account or money market account doesn’t pay very good interest. Most advisors recommend that if you are starting early, you should be aggressive. Stock funds out-perform other investments over the long term. Remember, this is an investment that requires your attention. Don’t just put it somewhere and leave it. Pay attention to the performance of the funds. As you get closer to your child’s high school graduation, start moving the money into more conservative investments.

Many people want to know which is more important, saving for retirement or for a child’s college education? You can do both. Make your retirement your priority, but don’t ignore the savings for your child. Parents that are disciplined in saving money will teach a child a lot in life. Just as the college experience will.

Martin Lukac
http://www.articlesbase.com/finance-articles/preparing-for-a-college-education-83429.html

Technorati Tags: 18 Years, 18years, Amount Of Money, Children S Education, College Education, Colleges And Universities, Education Costs, Financial Aid, Fine Time, Grandparents, Inflation, Little Bit, Million Dollars, Money Market Account, Online Calculator, Private School, Public Colleges, Relatives, Savings Account, Scholarships